top of page
  • Writer's pictureRoop Bassra

What You See Isn't Always What You Get

Updated: Dec 1, 2020



To say the last few years have been a challenge would be putting it mildly.


Physically, it requires all my energy to just get up & get ready. I have never experienced this level of fatigue & consistent pain, making my day-to-day extremely difficult.


Mentally, I’ve had to put more work into my thoughts & feelings than into my physical disabilities.


I try my best to wake up happy & positive about the day but as of late, it’s harder. I’m tired, I’m irritated, I’m angry, I’m sad, I’m disheartened, I’m frustrated & I’ve spent the last week crying.


Why?


Because these last 3 months I have been going to 8+ appointments a week, seeing Chiro, doing Physio, Pilates, Acupuncture, Massage, stretching daily, eating better, Epsom salt baths, etc. but the latest X-ray showed no change despite all this.



Because I have been diagnosed with Isthmic Spondylolysis with Spondylolisthesis, meaning the vertebrae has slipped due to the fracture, which is not able to heal on its own.


Because I have been on Lupron for almost a year & now it’s not working as well with severe cramps returning weeks before the next injection is due.


Because I can barely get a handle on one issue before another one starts.


Because I wake up & go to sleep in pain.


Because I’m full of guilt for not being there.


Because I said something I shouldn’t have.


Because I didn’t say anything when I should have.


Because I need to book in for my 4th surgery, a hysterectomy.


Because after this hysterectomy, I will have to wait 6 months before my back problem can be dealt with.


Because I am realizing how different my life has become in the last year.



Because the life I do have has been on hold.


Because I need to gather my strength so I can be ready for this next phase.


Because when you see me, you won’t know any of this.



Roop Bassra, RN

BSc Psychology, BSc Nursing

21 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page